Tuesday, October 21, 2014

disney days.

the summer break is over and we're back at it, baby.
you thought i meant the world series. 
you know, giants winning on the even years and all.
but not quite yet...
i just meant we've been enjoying a few trips to disneyland!

this was on the tea cups.
i took this cute picture and then scott's said my face turned from excited to....green.
i think this might have been my last tea cup ride for awhile.
seems like cammie agrees.

but she DID get to ride her first roller coaster.
the toon town roller coaster, if you will.
she loved it, asked to ride it over & over.
a girl after my own heart.

we got to go down with my mom & sis.
it was a blast! i wish i had a pic of my sister on tower of terror.
i've never seen or heard anything like it!
i was worried she was gonna wet her pants all over both of us. 

and i just got back from going on the annual "disney day with kim."
the above picture is what i like to call:
"my eyes were squinty and i was trying to keep them open."
it is beautiful, isn't it?
the good news is that my scarf is beautiful, and you can find it here.

it may seem like i caught rad air on this pic.
it is an optical illusion.
my right foot is almost touching the ground.
it is hard to jump high when you can't run.

i have also decided another option for titles of this post could be,
"katy's many faces."
exhibit A: my face on thunder mountain.

and! i was just enjoying a nice mickey mouse pretzel when all of the sudden,
i saw Clare from The Bachelor walk by!
now, on the show, she was sort of stage 5 clinger-ish, 
BUT! in real life, her face is flawless and she was super sweet.
she even complimented me on my sweatshirt.

we will be back for 4 days in a few weeks.
i can't wait.
you'll have snowflakes and icicles in 80 degree weather.
my heart will melt right along with them.
see you and your twinkle lights then.

thirteen memories.

bedtime routines.

sharing secrets.

s'mores bars.
found here.


morning laughs.

nailing the first school pic.

date night.

pumpkin cake with browned butter glaze.
found here.
make it asap.

putting her to work.



making cookies with my boy.

letting the sun set on expectations and discouragements.
learning to enjoy today and where God has us right now.
life is better that way.

Sunday, October 12, 2014

meet us in SF.

at the beginning of august, brooke & brian came to visit.
it is hard to put into words how amazing the week was.
we went to the giants vs. pirates game.
we swam in the pool every day.
we took them down to newport & downtown disney.
brooke helped me with my orders.
scott & brian had great conversation.
my kids were and still are obsessed with them.
it was a week packed to the brim of excitement. 
lots of tears were shed when we dropped them off at the airport.

it had been 14 months since i had seen brooke.
but there is something about being in the presence of your best friend.
life changes and things happen and we miss out on so much of it,
but we are able to pick up right where we need to.
it is the best. & i'm saving every penny for the next time.

i read this quote awhile ago & it reminded me of brooke and has stuck with me.
"i want to be around people that do things.
i don't want to be around people anymore that judge or talk about what people do.
i want to be around people that dream, and support, and do things."
[amy poehler]

brooke & brian.
you bring out the dreamer in both of us.
come back, i'll get the dominoes ready. 

Saturday, October 4, 2014

i've been thinking about some things.

on wednesday morning, i walked into bible study with 200 other women.
i'd like to say i was excited and carefree and ready to learn, but i was drained and tired.
i was scatterbrained and spazzy and smiling only because it seemed like the easiest option.
the last 6 weeks have been brutal in every form and fashion. 
hurt feelings and disappointments and conflict.
i just have been trying to formulate all of my thoughts and it is tiring.

i can feel this from others - the defeat & discouragement.
i feel it when i log into instagram. the exhaustion people are feeling of having to keep up.
it comes out in weird ways sometimes : jealousy. competition. gossip. 
i felt it when i walked into church on wednesday morning.
stiff backs. tired eyes. quiet, fake "i'm good!" when asked how someone is doing.
this whole "keep up with everyone else" thing sure does get old sometimes.
it is hard to break the mold and just live with intention and be who you truly are.

so on wednesday morning, we all sat down and the lady leading worship started singing.
we all stood and sang the first song. 
and i will admit, i just wasn't really even thinking about the words.
i was just singing. and then she started singing another song. this song, if you will.
and it was like an instant weight started lifting from my shoulders.
and i just stood there unable to sing anymore because my eyes were full of tears.
and i mean, if you've ever tried to sing while you're on the verge of crying,
it is just like this weird wiggle in your throat and i wanted to spare myself the embarrassment.
and so i just listened for awhile. and watched as women started raising their hands
and really singing from their hearts, "he breaks every chain."
and i saw ladies start to sit down. i saw ladies (myself included) start to wipe their eyes.
and i heard sighs of relief all over the room.
200 women praising God that their chains of defeat and discouragement and despair were broken.
and for those few minutes, i felt it. 
i felt the hurt feelings and the disappointments and the conflict wash away & the power of Jesus just take over.

and it has got me thinking.
i don't know why we aren't on each other's side more.
i don't know why there are these expectations and these silent competitions.
and these struggles to do it this way & to keep up with that.
to have children who never disobey.
to get married by 25.
to make a certain amount of money.
to weigh a certain amount and wear a certain brand.
i mean, it is in every area of every person's life.
designing. decorating. parenting. jobs. LIVING.
even relationships with God get competitive - certain standards that we make up.
it is just too much. too heavy. too exhausting to try and keep up.
it just creates these chains that just help bind us up - 
to hold us back from living such a FREE life in Jesus Christ.
and yet - aren't we supposed to have each other's backs?

last week i was on a family vacation.
and we were in this restaurant and being seated and one of my children was causing a scene. 
and i had to walk them out of the restaurant three separate times.
and i just put a front on like, "oh guys, i got this. don't worry."
i boldly and bravely would walk this child out and hope that everyone thought i had it all together.
but inside. inside i was hot. and embarrassed. and worried about what my family thought of my parenting.
what the table next to me thought about my parenting.
and the third time i had to walk out, i mean, i was on the verge of tears.
i'm holding this screaming, red-faced child, trying to talk them out of this raging tantrum.
and this lady walked up to me and just said, "you are doing a great job."
and then kept walking.
i kinda chuckled and said, "oh thanks. this one is a handful for me right now."
trying to make light of the situation. 
but i can't stop thinking about it. about how in that moment, i felt like saying, "THANK YOU for noticing me. THANK YOU for not judging me. THANK YOU for encouraging me and believing in me and for saying what i just wish we all would say to each other."

i mean, what if this was how we all were?
what if instead of getting competitive with each other, we just love each other?
what if instead of judging each other, we just embrace each other?
instead of gossiping, we encouraged? it would change things.
we have to learn to believe the best about each other. 
there is freedom in Christ - and if he sets those hindrances FREE - then we should too.
we should be able to say, "hey, i see you're struggling with loneliness and defeat. 
i see you're discouraged and weighed down. 
i see you've been gossiped about, i see you've been hurt. i see you're disappointed.
be free. i've got your back. we all have your back. you are doing a great job."

listen. this could work. but it has to start with me.
and you. we've got to decide now to cut the crap & just be ourselves.
we've got to decide now to love on each other.
the Gospel of Jesus Christ breaks down chains & frees us.
let's not hold ourselves or each other captive anymore. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

and that's a wrap on august.

first things first.
let's discuss the mug swap.
i believe the mug swap is turning into a national holiday.
1200 people joined in on the fun this year. bomb.
i personally feel like i hit the jackpot. i sent to my girl lesley.
lesley and i have been good friends for 2 years now.
we met in arizona in march so i thought it would be fun to go with a little arizona theme.
but i couldn't show that in the pics because she would know. 
she already was asking me sneaky questions.

[succulent notecards found here.]

and my best dude sent them off at the usps.
can you get any cuter? i think not. i love him.

and then in return, i got such a sweet package from my new friend thuy.
so many of my favorite things in this box!

it was so much fun to open. i loved every single item in that package!
thank you, thuy! i'm so glad we are new friends.

and also, thank you kim.
since kim is one of my favorite friends, 
i hear about all the hard work that she puts into this mug swap every day. 
and this year, it was extra special because we got to bless the hopper family by contributing to their adoption.
i mean, isn't that what it is all about?
KIM: thank you for giving us all such a great opportunity.
thank you for being patient with everyone. for answering countless comments and emails.
for setting aside so many hours to work on something that turns out so fabulous for so many people.
i am so glad that i get to be a part of it every year. i can't wait til next year! 11 more months.

and now that it is september 2nd,
let's wrap up the rest of august.
speaking of september 2nd,
it is my dad's 60th birthday!
we got to have dinner with him this past weekend.
happy birthday, dad! gimme your garden.

and mostly always a pleasure hanging out with my sis.

she bought a new home and we planned out her first gallery wall.
you know how i feel about gallery walls.
i will also say this: her fashion compared to my fashion is like my decorating compared to her decorating.
she helps me with my fashion and without her i'd be lost. wearing tapered levi's from 1998.
and she'd be putting peach and navy wallpaper up on her living room walls if i didn't step in.

and we also got to hang out with my mom.
i love her.
she took the kids to nordstrom to get new shoes.
it was an adventure, if you will.
thanks for being so patient, mom! and for the awesome new shoes.
this picture is a glimpse into my future.
cammie is all about it - ready to strut her stuff - and miles is like, eh.

speaking of miles.
i walked into my bedroom last week and this is what i found.
i love it. i want to frame it and keep it forever.

and speaking of cammie:

i'm just not ready.
i sit in the bathroom with her for 20 minutes sometimes.
i just.....i need to work on my patience.

i read this quote last week.
it was super convicting to me.
there are some things i've been anxious about lately.
and i'm not usually an anxious person.
so i've really had to process these things.
 and work through them and realize that it is a prideful choice for me to worry about them.
God's got it all.

so. august came to a hot end.
a 102 degree end, to be honest.

and i would say that this summer was extremely difficult for me.
lots of factors went into that.
but. i have hope.
lots of people talk about how they wish summer would last forever.
but for me, it is not that way.
and the very thought of september brings me a hope that i've been missing for several months.
so much beauty to look forward to.
crisp air, leaves changing, scarves and boots and skinny jeans.
but not only that, i feel that God has been working on some areas in my heart.
and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
the forecast may say 99 degrees for the next 10 days,
but i know in my heart it is coming.
and that is what hope is about, right?

dry, desert-y seasons don't have to last forever.
be good to us, september.