Thursday, July 7, 2011

blame it on john grisham.

i've always loved a good mystery. usually when i'm reading a mystery novel, i can't put it down.
i love the way a story is written. the beginning, the middle, the climax, the end.
i love to see how a crime is solved. when i close a book for the last time, i want to know that my questions are answered and that justice is served.
maybe that's why i always wanted to play clue as a little girl.

this week just hasn't been the week for that, wouldn't you agree?
and i do realize i'm a little late jumping on the casey anthony train.
but i've been thinking about casey anthony's life since tuesday morning at 11:24am while i was waiting for my skinny vanilla latte from the starbucks in target.
i've been following this case along with the rest of the world every single day for months upon months.
and when i left for target on tuesday morning, i honestly had no idea that the verdict would be read 10 minutes later. and when i saw my mom's name come up on my phone at 11:24am, i didn't know that i'd walk around the store aimlessly for the next 20 minutes trying to get my thoughts together.

in those 20 minutes i felt my eyes well up with tears, felt my stomach churn, felt my hands start shaking, and felt my blood literally boil because i just could not believe that casey anthony was going to walk out of that court room a free woman. it was only 4 hours before that i told my husband as he was walking out of the house that morning, "i think casey anthony is going to have an innocent verdict. i'm sick over it. i just don't think there is enough evidence to convict her. and i think i will really struggle with our society if this is true."

and sure enough, her verdict was innocent.

and for 3 and a half days (on top of 3 months and then 3 years) i just haven't been able to let this case go.
regardless if i think casey killed her daughter or not - i, like many of you, just haven't been able to shake the fact that something is just not right. and as i got in my car on tuesday morning, i finally started praying, "Lord, calm me down. help me not be so angry." for some reason, this trial really did a number on me and i really had to work through my emotions afterwards.

and what i've concluded is this:

*me and casey are the same. we both deserve death. we both are incredibly terrible people. clearly i have not done some of the things she has done, but i have done a whole lot of other things. and we both have been given a second chance at life and a whole lot of grace that we should not have be given. i also should not be walking around as a free woman.

**Jesus came and died to give us new life. me, you, &casey anthony.

**when i think about a 3-year-old girl's life being taken from her far too early, my heart literally breaks in half. and then when i think of the fact that now there are no leads - there are no answers - there is no one to pay the consequences of this innocent daughter's death, i am angry that no justice is being served. regardless if casey killed her daughter or not (for what it's worth, i do believe that casey anthony had something to do with this death), i wish that this case was being closed with an answer in a box on a shelf in a basement instead of a question mark.

[i believe that justice will happen.
i believe that i am not casey's judge but i believe that she will be judged.
and i believe that casey now has a 2nd chance at life.]

you know what the amazing reality is?
if we receive Jesus Christ - we are set free. 
forgiven of any sin we commit. 
wiped clean and new.
just like that.
there's hope.
for me, you, &casey anthony.

17 comments:

  1. Fantastic post! It's so easy for us to look at everyone around us and compare ourselves to them - good or bad. Thanks for the reminder that we're all the same in God's eyes.

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  2. this case has totally broken my heart. every time i look at swee'pea i think, "how could someone do this to a precious child??" it makes my heart literally ache when i think of life without my child. even for a second, let alone forever.

    but just as Christ has forgiven me for my sins, he can and will forgive casey of hers if she confesses and repents of her sin. as sickening as what she may/may not have done is to me, it doesn't take away from the fact that Christ DIED for ALL sins. yours, mine, and hers.

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  3. i read a fantastic article about how in a criminal trial(like this one), you must prove beyond reasonable doubt--our justice system is set up so that we'd rather let 10 guilty go free than have 1 innocent get wrongly convicted...whereas in a civil case you only have to prove that it's likely they committed the murder.

    My favorite verse on issues such as these is Ezekial 18:23 "Do I take any pleasure in the death of the wicked? declares the Sovereign Lord. Rather, am I not pleased when they turn from their ways and live?

    My prayer for her is that if she did do it, she will repent! I {think}God would not want us to wish the death penalty on her...That's just my interpretation of where God wants our hearts to be.

    And in the meanwhile, I also pray daily over my own wickedness, because it's clear in the bible that if a righteous man turns from righteousness and commits sin, none of the righteous things he does will be remembered. (ezekial 18:24)

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  4. so well said!!! i totally agree, it is sad so sad BUT there is life in Jesus i hope she turns to him

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  5. I LOVE this perspective! I had these thoughts too, but I would have never been able to have written...or typed them as well as you did!

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  6. this is beautiful. i wonder how many other christians are putting themselves in the same category as C.A. ?? i think we can be so jugdgemental as christians. and i agree, there's no doubt in my mind she had something to do with it. i rest easy in the fact that GOD. IS. SOVEREIGN. He's right even when we don't get it. this was a beautiful post. :)

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  7. amen :) beautifully written :) thanks for speaking your heat!!

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  8. absolutely, amen.
    thanks, katy!

    xo

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  9. katy. you are making me think.

    i know you are right about all of this, but in my skewed humanity, i still feel like casey deserves death more than you. or me. that her sin is worse than mine.

    so, thanks for making me think. even if it is a friday.

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  10. Amen!!! None of us deserve the second chances we are given EVERY day for the same thing we have done a ZILLION and 1 times. Whatever our crime we all have committed them and we have to rest in the fact we are not here to judge ANYONE, and know that she will face judgment one day with our MIGHTY creator, just as we all will.

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  11. i love your heart on this.
    i feel the same way. i just decided that i have to give it to God because my anger won't solve anything. hmph.

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  12. I love that you wrote about how we all deserve death, but Jesus set us free. Awesome. It's hard to look at some things in that way, but its so so so true. As believers we're called to respond differently than the world (I'm having to learn a lesson of this with a family ordeal), and it's not easy. Thank you for sharing this and reminding me why we need to respond differently!

    caledarling.blogspot.com

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  13. I was walking around in Target aimlessly when I heard the verdict also, I just kept reading all my friends facebook status updates and they all said the same thing. They couldn't believe she basically walked away....I do believe however, that she will NEVER have a chance at a normal life, she has to live with what she did and people aren't going to let her forget about Caylee. She will pay for it whether in jail or not....
    hugs to you and love. you have so much grace to be able to feel this way.
    tara

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  14. grace and mercy. none of us deserve it but it's offered to all. thanks for this true post filled with honesty about how we feel, and yet...praise be to God His ways are not our ways! <3 <3 <3

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  15. i just posted this on my fb page. thanks so much for helping put things into perspective. i like your blog a lot :)

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