i feel like within the last few months i've really had a lot on my heart that i've been sorting through with the Lord and processing things on my mind with scooter. and when i talk to some of my closest friends around me, it feels like there's something each person is going through that is just making life tough. some trials are greater than others and some handle them differently than others but i feel that a lot of us are carrying burdens that just plain suck. yes, i said suck.
my sister is a nurse and occasionally she'll call with stories about her day. sometimes they're funny, sometimes they're heart wrenching, and sometimes they're spiritual. the other day she called and told me that she was having a really boring shift and then a fellow nurse called her into the next room and asked her to help her put an IV into a one-year-old's vein. now i know from personal experience how hard it is to get a one-year-old to sit still long enough for someone to poke their arm with a needle, so it didn't surprise me that they needed three nurses to hold the babe down.
(sister with miles when he was so little!)
the nurse had such a hard time getting the IV in that she had to keep trying over and over again and my sister said it just broke her heart to watch the little baby scream and cry and look up at them wondering why they were hurting him so bad. she said she wished she could just say, "don't worry! it's almost over and it will help you feel better before you know it!" she said it made her think of the Lord. because she wonders how many times he sits there watching us have to go through a struggle or a trial - some big and some small - and thinks to Himself, "if only you knew that this will be over before you know it and it will make you stronger in the end."
i think sometimes we have the tendency to wonder, "why is life so hard?" i do it all the time and my life is pretty golden right now in comparison to what is has been or could be. but in the midst of those struggles when you lose the home you've dreamed of, or your marriage hits rock bottom, or you find out a family member is sick....it just seems like life is hard. it is, right? but at some point we've got to stop talking about how hard it is and start realizing that there is a reason we're in this valley and that we'll come out on the other side.
i feel like in those moments God is just longing to be enough for us. he just wants to be it. and i've learned from enough experience in my life that he will bring me to that place of realizing it over and over again until i really, truly learn it. and the past week or so, i've really had this clarity in my head [once again - cause God seems to have to teach me this like 87 times a month] that he just longs for us to rest in His satisfaction and His contentment instead of wishing for different circumstances.
it is so easy to focus on the hard things every day but i'm missing the huge point. God wants me to be content in Him now. now - no matter where i'm at. no matter what trial i'm going through. no matter how many times he has to poke me with an IV to get it in the right vein - he wants to be it [all the time]. and we can't waver. we have to know that He is enough. [all the time.] regardless of the circumstance and regardless of what happens in the end - He just simply has to be enough and we have to be okay with that.
1 Timothy 6:6 says, "Godliness with contentment is great gain."
my prayer is that God takes me to a place where He is it.